reflections on betrayal

Imagine for a moment, that we were all sitting in a room together, in a circle.

I say to you all the following:

If you have experienced a betrayal in your life, raise your hand.

How do you respond?

I then ask you this question:

Have you ever considered that each betrayal you experienced was a “self-betrayal”?

How would you respond?


As I have grown in my journey of this lifetime, and come to see that life happens through me, not to me, I see so very clearly that each time I experienced a betrayal – whether by a friend, a family member, an organization or someone who I cared deeply about – I was betraying myself first, by not trusting what I knew that I knew…deep inside. Yes…I did NOT trust myself first.

If you think about it –  I mean really spend time reflecting on a betrayal; one that really hurt and perhaps caused you to question all kinds of things that you had always taken for granted, or believed with all of your heart – you might begin to see that you likely had a clue, a hint or even some intuitive feeling or nudge that something wasn’t right, was amiss or wasn’t going to play out the way you thought it might…or should.

That is exactly what I am referring to. We know and yet, we don’t really want to face whatever is not aligned with what we want or believe we need. We create a story about the situation that somehow makes it ok and in so doing, we begin to set our own trap. We begin the long trip down that river…you know the one (denial).

And then…BOOM. Betrayal.

A friend of mine uses the term, “the outer reflects the inner.”

Yep, that, too.

What we believe about ourselves is reflected back to us in myriad ways…all…of…the…time. Think about it. This is a truth that can be empowering.

And so, we didn’t heed the message, the gut feeling, and therefore what was trying to get in, just couldn’t make it through the thickness of our newly minted story and as a result we have set off on the river of denial.

I believe in the power of threes. We get three opportunities to “get it”. So I am fond of saying the we first receive a whisper in the ear. If we do not heed that, we get a firm tap on the shoulder.  If we still do not pay attention to the message that is trying to come through; then we get the “frying pan on the head.” That might finally get our attention.

Betrayal is a self-betrayal. The outer reflects the inner. We don’t trust ourselves.

If you cannot trust yourself, who can you trust?

You are a part of what which created you. Whatever name you give to that entity, can you not trust him/her/it? You are a part of that entity for you are not apart from it. Trust it, trust yourself…it’s the same thing.

My wish for you is that you spend some time getting to know yourself a bit more. Over time, you will feel and appreciate the loving power of the soul that lies within.

You are beautiful, dear soul.

You are wise, my friend.

Trust yourself…first.

“Trust yourself, and remember you are a miracle.”
― Debasish Mridha



7 thoughts on “reflections on betrayal

  • Now this made me pause Carrie. Thank you 🙏
    I have never felt totally betrayed since I was a child.. since then i have felt extreme disappointment and disillusionment about how others have behaved. I was let down, but it threw light on my ability to trust, rather than on the actions that brought about my hurt..
    It becomes a trust and confidence builder in ourselves when we can detach from the emotional upheaval that betrayal brings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val…thank you so much for this wonderful comment. I appreciate the perspective of your experience. I wish more of us were successful in seeing as objectively as you describe. I for one, did not come to observation quickly. Childhood held its betrayals and I wasn’t equipped as I was living my victim consciousness…unconsciously. A few significant betrayals in my mid-life adulthood brought me, finally, to where you are. I deeply appreciate the adding of this perspective to this post. 💕​🙏​

      Liked by 1 person

  • Love, love, love this post. My trip down the river of denial was long and winding. If I had not gone on that journey, I would not have my twin sons (the double frying pan wack!!). I have learned so much about myself over that 20 years, mainly through being a single mom. Betrayal is part of our family story, and I’ve learned to embrace it as a catalyst…


    Liked by 1 person

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