what divides us is…


A few months ago, I happened upon a post by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, which caught my eye. What immediately got my attention was her response to a client regarding the ways in which we distance ourselves from our inner voice…out of fear. Written in 2014, it is a timeless piece of wisdom for us to consider for ourselves.

Here is Oriah’s post:

Walking Away From Ourselves

A client once said to me, “If someone else spoke to me the way I speak to myself in my own mind, I would walk away. But I share a body with that inner voice so I can’t walk away from it.”

I replied, as gently as possible, “Ah, but we do walk away from ourselves. We distance from our inner voice by burying it with food or work or shopping or television. . . . with an infinite number of things to numb, distract and dissociate from our own minds, bodies, hearts and lives.”

And why wouldn’t we? Sticking around for constant and cruel berating would be like choosing to hold your hand on a hot stove. The instinctual response to pain is to withdraw, and that can be life-preserving.

The problem is. . . . if we numb or disconnect from our inner world to distance ourselves from that cruel inner diatribe, we also disconnect from our awareness of other inner states that arise: joy, gratitude, peace, ecstasy etc.

As with so many things in life the only way out is through.

First we have to “catch” the voice of the inner critic. I admit, sometimes mine is none too subtle, which makes it easy. Years ago, when I first started to really notice this voice I’d just close it down with a snappy, “Thanks for sharing but no thanks!” or a less polite, “Shut up.”

As time went on it got easier to recognize the background noise of the inner critic that often lives right on that thin edge between conscious and unconscious thought (no doubt so it can quickly slip into unconsciousness when I happen to catch it at work.) Gradually, when I noticed it – now knowing that it did not tell the truth – I expanded my ability to listen. Why? So I could begin to explore what drove it, what sourced its certainty that if I pursued my soul desires disaster would ensue. I didn’t just want to shut it up and shove it into my inner shadows. I wanted to know more.

And, of course, I discovered that this voice is driven – as all bullies are – by fear.

Gradually, on a good day – when I had the time, energy and consciousness – I could actually engage this inner voice in a dialogue. I wanted to hear its story. And as the story of deep terror was revealed the voice got smaller, the criticisms lost their power. Oh I don’t want to imply that my inner critic has disappeared! But, as Ram Dass once said of inner demons, they get smaller, and when they appear we can recognize them more quickly and have them in for a cup of tea without worrying that they will take over the tea party.

This is of course a process, and like most things in human beings it does not happen in a once-and-for-all straight line, but in more of an ever-deepening spiral. But gradually we can dissolve much of the need for habits of distraction and dissociation so we can feel and live the joy in our lives more fully.

And our freedom and available energy is deepened and broadened.

Oriah House (c) 2014


Do you listen to YOUR inner voice? Can you distinguish between the fear based voice and the one that is ALL love? Or do you numb it, ignore it or distract yourself from the fear based, critical voice and miss the beauty of the other one? As she points out, it IS a process; and it is one worth engaging in – to heal, to balance, to love, to serve.

The more we connect to ourselves – the less divided we will be as a nation, country, continent, hemisphere, planet.

6 thoughts on “what divides us is…

  • Beautiful, Carrie. Thank you so much for sharing that. My inner critic and I shared a cup of tea this morning, then we did yoga together, and it was good. It’s not always that way, but it happens more often now. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Robin – for your honest comment. I used to do as Oriah mentioned that she did – tell my inner critic to “shut up!” When you’re driving and it is yammering on, sometimes, you have to speak out – loudly! Today, I am aware it is still there…and we are mostly friends. I was once told that inviting it (or any other negative voice or thought) in for a cup of tea, will result in it not staying for long. Otherwise, it may hang around…trying to get our attention. I wish you well on your 40 days! 💕​


  • A wonderful expression of honesty Carrie. My inner voice is so boring to me now, I had so many years of believing in its fear and judgement, but with a daily practice connecting to my truth, I don’t believe a word of it anymore! It does however, take time to change. 🙏🏻💕

    Liked by 1 person

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