how do we change?

What you are, the world is. And without your transformation, there can be no transformation of the world.

 – J. Krishnamutri


Many of us seek change from outside rather than slowing down to look within. If we have problems or concerns, we are somewhat habituated to look for remedies outside of ourselves. This belief is very much a part of the culture here. We seek remedies of all kinds before we create time for ourselves to examine within, just what the source of our difficulties may be. Do you know that your beliefs about yourself and the world manifest in myriad ways?

Listening objectively, even for a few moments – to the news, or to video or audio recordings – it is easy to discern the messages of fear with a promise of protection “from”.  The message of fear with a suggestion or promise of protection or “fixing” underlies much of what we are exposed to in advertisements or in many shared memes in social media.

What we are, the world is. Indeed. How do we change this?

Begin within.

It can be a scary thought – the very idea of examining what is inside of us. We fear our own vulnerability.

In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.

 – Brene Brown

It’s ok to be who you are – different from everyone else.

Acceptance of ourselves – which can be one of our greatest challenges in life – can lead to peace within. Acceptance of ourselves has its roots in love. Love of self can be a monumental challenge in a world where we are encouraged to be like everyone else. Promoting the messages of striving for success, beauty as defined by others, among many similar messages is another insidious way in which separateness is cultivated.

Until we learn to love and accept ourselves fully, completely and without fear; our love and acceptance of others is compromised. Closed hearts, closed minds support and enable fear and keep us far, far away from the softest parts of ourselves – our vulnerability. Open hearts, open minds support acceptance of self and others while honoring our vulnerability and creating safe space for others to live into theirs.


Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

 – Rumi

See yourself in others. See others in yourself.  Beyond the unhealed pain, the intense anger and unexpressed grief, we all have a heart – connected to the place of our origin and therefore to each other.

Artwork from one of my grandsons. A beautiful heart…

8 thoughts on “how do we change?

  • Ooooh! That is one of the most beautiful hearts I’ve ever seen. ❤

    I've been meditating on vulnerability, surrender, and opening my heart and mind. An assignment of sorts from a teacher of sorts. Your post is another opening. Thank you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • My grandson will appreciate your comment! Thank you, dear Robin! I feel the challenges of our time are calling us to our hearts in a deeper way. I’m happy to know that it is meaningful for you. ❤️


  • There are many of us who could not have said this better, Carrie. What I struggle with, however, is why some (many?) fear their own vulnerability. Self-acceptance can be and is! beautiful. Warts and all. Your grandson’s artwork is lovely. He must have a big one himself.


    • Thank you, Eric. My grandson does, indeed have a BIG heart! In my work with clients (and in my past experience as a leader), my belief is that we fear looking deeply within. We are so afraid of what we might find there. The messages of our world – from religion to advertising – keep us in deep separation from ourselves and from our Creator. It is a tough barrier to overcome and you and I both know how powerful the personal reward for venturing there. Everything changes! For the better!


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