wondering as I wander
These past weeks have seemed to be a void of much of anything for me. Writing, reading…have seemed elusive. I have not slept as well and at times have had some interesting dreams that I reflect upon the meaning of. Even as I have been present in this void, I have had moments in which I felt there was a dark veil between Spirit (God) and me. And even then, I have been aware of that awesome loving presence in my life. I have often felt I was living and experiencing a dichotomous existence, at times. I have grounded myself in my beliefs and in the interactions of those closest to me. Now, the veil feels more like protection than separation. This period has been steeped in reflection and contemplation.
Slowly and intermittently, I have found moments when writing has been soothing. Most recently, I wrote about a few things that I have been wondering about. My wondering represents a bit of wandering around various topics – borne of experiences and observations of self and others. Perhaps the contemplation of these is in part the way through this seemingly and sometimes dark “void”.
These are my recent wonderings…as I wander into contemplating both the complexity and simplicity of each.
- Masculine and Feminine energy in all of us; how we balance (or not) this energy in our various activities, roles and day-to-day interactions. How we become conscious of these and awaken to love.
- How to support others in the beginning moment of seeing themselves as valued and valuable – as an important step into the essential healing process that life offers.
- Patience with our individual processes. Growth, healing and evolution cannot be timed or rushed, pushed or hurried along. Our lives unfold in each moment. Our thoughts influence the quality of those moments.
- The myriad ways we wear armor to protect our broken hearts, all the while keeping (or unconsciously pushing away) the very intimacy (in-to-me-see) we seek at a distance. This intimacy requires us to open our hearts, to be vulnerable. It takes courage to take off the armor, to risk love – at and from the deepest part of ourselves.
- The myths of perfection and control. Perfection isn’t attainable and we do not have control. Control has us.
- The courage of speaking out or up – about abuses – of power, inappropriate actions and behaviors. Supporting those who courageously stand, as they honor their commitments (oaths), even in the face of scrutiny by those who may not know or even wish to understand, while also enduring personal threats and harassment.
- The inspiration that opens me to write or prevents my desire to pick up my pen or to compose a post for my blog. It seems to wax and wane.
These wonderings give way to others as I wander.
Feelings. Thoughts. Questions. Curiosities. Reconciliation. Resolution. Contemplation.
What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action.