the water we swim in

Recently, I was talking with a very dear and trusted friend and fellow coach about the inherent challenge in learning to hold two seemingly opposite sets of feelings about the same thing, person, situation or experience. Her response immediately provided a broader context for my growing awareness. She said, “It’s the water we swim in, right?” We are not necessarily shown that the “both and” is an ok place to be with anything. In fact, we are taught that the “either or” is the way forward.

After a brief pause, I realized just how profound her response was. Here we are, in this crazy time in our human history, seeking to find a way forward that is peaceful, loving and mutually supportive of all…and holding opposite feelings or perspectives is generally not what we are taught to realize as normal. Somehow we learn that we have to choose one feeling or the other feeling…as if the two, on balance cannot truly co-exist. Perhaps this isn’t as true for you as it has been for me…for my whole life! And perhaps it is also true that our collective reluctance to hear or see those who are different or hold different beliefs than we do may be rooted in this “either or” culture we live in and unconsciously perpetuate.

Full disclosure…my sun sign is Libra and I have a Libra stellium (Sun, Jupiter and Mars) in the 12th house. Yep…a LOT of Libra!! So, my tendency to live the extremes is well entrenched. Throwing the “baby out with the bath water” isn’t an uncommon way to describe the ways I can be extreme in my behavior and choices. Learning to moderate this part of my being –  slowing down or completely standing down, when I feel that overwhelming need to move quickly in one direction – has been an interesting process over these years. Many believe that we Librans are balanced by nature. Nope! We are learning balance!

“What is behind your eyes holds more power than what is in front of them.”

– Gary Zukav

What I have found to be true with my habit of believing that I must choose one feeling or perspective over the other is that I begin to tell myself a story about my present situation or growing dilemma. It’s as if I force myself to choose one side of the apparent dilemma and create a story that is supposed to make the choice alright. Except it no longer works for me. I have begun to see and feel the discomfort and outright suffering that I have created for myself all of these years.

“Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.”

– Epictetus

If none of this is making sense, here is an example.

About a year ago, I relocated back to a place I left in 2016. I left rather quickly after the sale of my home. I had always wished to return and it took more than two years and an evacuation for a hurricane to facilitate my return. I had a home built. It was ready in four months. When I moved in, there were multiple issues which were completely unexpected – one was potentially life threatening. I was so grateful to be back in Virginia and I did NOT like my new home. I tried. I really tried to fall in love with it. It wasn’t happening. For months, I attempted to convince myself that it was fine. After all I was back in the place I wished to live and I further told myself I just needed to get over it. That wasn’t happening either. Late in the afternoon one day last Fall, I admitted out loud – I heard myself say it – that I was so very happy to be back here and the house just wasn’t where I wished to live. In that moment, I realized how the creation of a story had trapped me –  in a place within – in which I was miserable. More importantly, I became aware of the reality of choosing one side or the other side of a dilemma (“either or” thinking), over the realization that both can be true and can co-exist (“both and” perspective). Since that moment, I’ve opened my heart and mind to the possibility of moving again as soon as the right place become available or apparent.

A weight was lifted in that moment, too. A weight that I had placed on myself (and was quite good at doing for many, many years) was no longer there…and I lifted it myself!

The water we swim in can be dark and murky or it can be clearer and easier to navigate. As I have said many times, perspective is everything.

“The moment you change your perception, is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.”

– Dr. Bruce H. Lipton

preparing for the end of year…upon reflection

 

Last year, I posted “upon reflection” on December 28. As we are nearing the end of this year, this decade, reflecting and contemplating, is our most important contribution to the healing and evolution of our species, and our planet. To keep moving, trying to stay ahead of the challenges and difficulties of being who we are, only slows our progression. Continuing to distract ourselves keeps us from facing ourselves. So I am offering this post again, with a slightly new title for 2019. May the new year – with all of the challenges we are facing – bring us into greater alignment with ourselves and our Creator. It is from this place that we will come to accept all that we find unacceptable; love what we have come to feel is unlovable and heal what we may believe cannot be healed.

~ ~ ~

A look in the mirror reveals so very much. We choose to look or not. If our choice is to not look, we miss the opportunity to gaze into our own eyes; to see the light that lies deep within. To look may also reveal our perspective on a deeper darkness that we prefer not to see. Often, we have a look and begin to judge what we see – eyes, wrinkles, imperfect skin, graying hair; all of the things society tells us that isn’t right about us. There is great power in looking – deeply looking –  at who we are, beyond the surface which reflects back our self-judgments (grounded in our beliefs). Rather, gazing with gratitude for the beauty of the soul within can bring an appreciation for Life and the miracle of our presence here, now.

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As we are nearing the end of another calendar year, many turn to this time as a period of reflection to begin to discern the blessings and lessons of the previous year.

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There are many “out there” who are reporting on all of the “good and bad” of the year’s events. And yes, many of those world and national events are definitely worth considering in our reflective moments. Our challenge, and the greatest gift to be realized, is contained in reflecting upon our individual experiences – which may include our perceptions of those events.

Truth is relative, as we each perceive our own truth through the filters of both our beliefs and our many life experiences. Realizing that such filters exist is the beginning step in realizing that others may see the same event very differently. Perhaps more importantly, no one is seeing it rightly or wrongly.

The beautiful images continued in this post show us very different reflections of what is above the water. Some are clear, others somewhat distorted. All have natural light – some brighter, some darker. Isn’t this also true about the many ways in which we and others perceive our life experiences, the many events – beautiful and tragic – that occur in our world every day?

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Upon reflection, we see. Upon reflection, we hear. Upon reflection, we discern the lessons and blessings of a day, a week, a month, a year…or a lifetime. Upon reflection, we come to know that truth as discerned by humans is relative. We know from nature that what is real is visible there.

You know all of this. It is intrinsic. You need only find your way back to the truth of who you are as a spiritual being…in this human experience.

How will you choose to create time and space for reflection? Today, tomorrow, every day?

 

 

and what IS the plan?

What religion a man holds, to what race he belongs, these things are not important; the really important thing is this knowledge: the knowledge of God’s plan for men. For God has a plan, and that plan is evolution.  –

 – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Year ago, I walked away from organized religion. I found its contradictions, admonitions and judgments irreconcilable to the truth I felt deep within and the questions that had been in my heart for most of my life. The time space between walking away and then learning about what living was really all about was fraught with many challenges, as life can always offer us. Meeting my emotions without as much self judgment and fear was an eye opening experience. As more and more perspectives, information and options came into my awareness and experience, I started to create my own patchwork of beliefs. These provided useful and realistic “containers” within which to hold my experiences so that I could truly begin to embrace what I’m really up to in this life of mine.

Along the way, I found many authors, teachers, coaches, healers, to name only a few resources. I’ve read so many books, blogs, quotes, email messages, etc. And like everything else in our human experience, my beliefs and feelings about them continue to evolve.

I found that a lot of my understanding of what I was learning in organized religion seemed dependent upon an experience of passivity in beliefs about our life experiences. “God has a plan,” is what I heard. “Maybe this is a part of God’s plan for you.” As if I am to be the punching bag of life and to relax in the knowing that my “reward” was in “heaven”. When I hear intelligent adults speak these words today, I reflect on how these words used to make me feel. We all experience life through the lens of our beliefs – regardless of what we have heard, learned, read or been exposed to. I’m quite sure there are quite a few walking the planet today who are quite comfortable with allowing life to have its way and surrendering to the idea that “Maybe it’s God’s plan” without giving any additional thought or reflection to the experience, or what may have been underlying it in the first place.

“Controlling people try to control people, and they do the same with God—but loving anything always means a certain giving up of control. You tend to create a God who is just like you—whereas it was supposed to be the other way around.”
Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For and Believe

To be sure, in the early days. I didn’t’t encounter anyone who dared offer another way of looking at life…or another lens through which to look at life experience in order to, at a minimum, consider what was at the core or the cause of the outcome or the experience. In fact, I recall with great clarity a question that I seemed to always ask myself about why certain things happened when I was such a good person –  honest, caring, generous, etc.

It is not easy to release an old belief that really doesn’t work for you. And embracing something that is new and seemingly “out there” is harder still.

Thought is cause, experience is effect. If you don’t like the effects in your life, you have to
change the nature of your thinking.
– Marianne Williamson

And who knew how powerful our thoughts (borne of our beliefs) really are? I certainly didn’t.

It has taken me some time to expand my beliefs and to embrace a bigger knowing about the universal energy that many refer to as God, Spirit, Universe and so on. What doing so has provided is a pathway to peace – within. By embracing what I now know is the intention of my soul in this lifetime, I see past traumas, and joyful moments as very much a part of it all. I know that our intentions, our words and actions, return to us. Love and fear are returned.

“For God has a plan, and that plan is evolution.” We have a choice to be active participants in our evolution, or to be dragged, suffering as more and more of the planet moves on – by releasing the old beliefs, and claiming responsibility for choices – cause and effect.

cause and effect…and then reaction

Awareness is the greatest agent for change

 – Eckhart Tolle

Another Sunday morning…and more avoidable effects, followed by multiple reactions. Where one sits determines what one sees and no doubt, has impact on what they say, and how they react. The sadness of such senseless loss of life to such senseless violence is hard to take. If you have never lost a loved one to violence, perhaps you observe these events differently. Losing a loved one to violence – gun violence – brings up familiar feelings of loss; questions of what, why, how and when. If you have lost someone to gun violence, your what’s, why’s, how’s and when’s may be similar or different than mine. However, as I see the pain and anguish on the faces adults, themselves parents, siblings, or children and imagine the younger children whose parents are gone, the result of an unexpected and violent end to a necessary shopping trip or a fun night out, I imagine our questions are very much the same.

The fear in our collective is everywhere and is palpable. So much so, that even those who hold elective office or are seeking such a thing find it impossible to speak about what we all know deep inside is painful, horrific and somewhat preventable. Words have power. Surely we know that. There is cause; there is effect. There is reaction…and there is response.

The above quote by Eckhart Tolle was in my email inbox Sunday morning. Reading it and reflecting deeply on awareness in our collective helped me gain perspective on what I am observing rather than getting lost in the overwhelming sadness at the senseless loss of life. I am reminded that our unconscious reactions to events like these follows the effect of the cause. We often do not stop to consider the cause. Are we so busy that we cannot consider that the cause(s) which are the root of these devastating effects are where the true solutions lie; awaiting our opening to a deeper awareness?  Indeed the response we await is there…deep in the wound(s).

Chiron comes to mind to me today as well. “Chiron embodies the spirit of compassion and selfless service that all good physicians must have to master and practice the medical art. Through his supreme sacrifice, willingly given, Chiron gave mankind the art of healing. Chiron’s agonizing wound symbolizes the transformative power of illness and affliction. Through pain and suffering, our personal wounds, both psychic and physical, can transform themselves into sources of great moral and spiritual strength.” (From the website, greekmedicine.net; Greek Mythology: CHIRON: Father of Medical Art.)

So today, I wonder. Do we have the courage to look deeply at the causes, all of them over a long period of time, to heal these wounds? Can we step fully into the process of looking deeply at our own individual wounds, with the intention of healing them? Until and unless we take that first and most important step, we will not be effective at offering healing to the larger collective which has so many simmering wounds that burst forth in so many different ways.

Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.

 – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cause and effect; reaction rather than response; these are related. If we keep moving, allowing our pain to fester, it will grow. How it will manifest is unknown even to us – within us or in those we observe. Is this the cause of so many violent events, our unhealed pain? Is the manifestation – the violent acts –  the effect? Do we then react in a variety of ways without knowing or considering the true cause in the first place? I believe the answers to all of these questions is a resounding “YES”.  When feelings are ignored, or we talk ourselves out of what we feel, we contribute to the wound(s). When we embrace our feelings, especially the difficult ones, we begin the important process of healing.

I made multiple investments in my healing when I lost a loved one to gun violence. I joined a grief support group; I continued psychotherapy and over the years I deepened my studies of universal truths. I sought various modalities for healing the mind/body and two years later, wrote a letter to the editor of the local newspaper in the locality where the loss occurred with some of my what’s, why’s, how’s and when’s related to the lack of action following the violent end of this loved one’s life.

Today, I ask that we all pause to consider the wounds we have which are awaiting our awareness. What are you feeling today? Why are you feeling this way? How can you take a first step to dive into the feelings to discover the root cause(s)? When will you give yourself the gift of peace within?

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.
 – Brene Brown
I wish you peace.
I wish reconciliation for all peoples.
I wish you love.

listening

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”

-Mark Nepo

Listening, deeply, is a lost art, it seems. As I have often said to many, we have two ears and one mouth…for a reason. We need only look at all that is happening in our world, our country, our communities. Everyone is talking and no one seems to be listening. So, what happens when those talking believe they are not being heard? They get louder. Louder comes in many forms. Organized protests, louder voices by individual or groups, repetitive speaking and not even attempting to allow the other to speak or answer a question, are a few of the ways “louder” is expressed.

What I feel goes hand in hand with listening, is observation. Slowing down to listen, deeply, allows us to hear, deeply, what another may be attempting to say. Not everyone speaks clearly or eloquently when they are excited, stressed or are hurting. When they are trying to be heard by someone whose not slowing down to “…lean in, softly…”, any number of outcomes is possible and none are good. Sadly, many do not even listen to their own intuition. How can they possibly deeply listen to another.

“The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and trustworthy conditions.”
Parker J. Palmer

I have launched a new page on this site, Compassionate Listening. I am not necessarily a fan of the moniker, “coach” for what I practice. Compassionate listening is what I really do. Within the quiet space of presence with another,  I hear the entreaties of the heart. Listening slowly, I hear deeply, what is within the story being shared. From this place of deep listening,  I offer observations and questions to facilitate self-discovery or self-generation in another. If you are interested or feel that having an objective and compassionate listener may be helpful for you, please consider visiting my page and reaching out via the link on that page.

May we all endeavor to slow down, listen and open to the possibility that something we hear may cause us to see something in ourselves which is awaiting our discovery.

Sunset photo taken with my iPhone on the southern NC Coast, 2013.

love, unity, collaboration…and competition

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. 

 – Chief Seattle

This is one of those quotes that so deeply resonates, reading it always makes me pause to have another look at where we are collectively, as seen through my eyes, perspectives and beliefs. We all do it. In fact, we probably need to pause and reflect more often.

Today, this quote reminded me of my experiences of a recent Saturday.

While enjoying my early morning cup of coffee, I remembered the Royal Wedding was being televised here, and early! While watching the ceremony and all that unfolded after the ceremony with the carriage ride, three words seemed to float in and out of my head (and my heart)…Love, Unity, Collaboration. If you saw it for yourself, rather than reading all of the commentary in the days following the event, you saw it through your own eyes, perspectives and beliefs.

Later that evening, I happened upon the Preakness. Watching bits and pieces of it, and reflecting upon races of the past, I started to see something that I hadn’t seen the same way before. Competition. Looking at all of those beautiful animals, no longer running free and trained to run hard and fast, I couldn’t help but look at it all from the widest view possible. Many people are or become wealthy in the horse racing industry. What happens to the horses? At what cost….being first, richer or above it all?

The bookends of that day captivated me.

For your thoughtful consideration, I offer the following.

 

From Dictionary.com:

competition

[kom-pi-tishuh n]

noun

1. the act of competing; rivalry for supremacy, a prize, etc.:
2. a contest for some prize, honor, or advantage:
3. the rivalry offered by a competitor:

 

There are many aspects of our lives on this planet which are replete with competition – in one form or another. Some of it is easy to see. Some of it is not so visible…and yet, it underpins so much of our day-to-day experience. It’s not for me to identify all of the ways we as humans are competitive or to offer my observations about any of it. I’ve brought this here your consideration, reflection and comment, dear readers. We each see the world, our experiences in it and what we observe of others, through our eyes (sometimes our ears), perspectives and beliefs.

So…what do you think?

About Love, Unity and Collaboration?

About Competition?

How do YOU see these?

 

 

communicating

Words are one of the most powerful tools we have in our communication tool box.

“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”
— Marshall B. Rosenberg

Let that quote settle for just a moment.

Consider your thoughts about yourself and others.

Most of the time, the way we regard ourselves is directly connected to and informs the way we regard others. It’s apparent in our conversations, our thoughts about others, and most definitely in our behavior.

Marshall Rosenberg’s work is among the most important bodies of work that many people have never heard of. He spent his life helping people, communities both in this country and in many others, to communicate more directly, compassionately and authentically. Non-violent communication (NVC) contains a number of tools for supporting essential change in the ways we interact and communicate with each other as individuals and in groups and in our communities.

“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”
— Marshall B. Rosenberg

The shaming and blaming that is, sadly, a significant part of our public discourse, has its roots in our feelings and whether we believe that our needs are being met. These are the foundation of our behavior.

Understanding ourselves is an important aspect of effectively communicating and connecting with others. If we are not aware of our needs, we cannot clearly communicate in a meaningful way with another. The Needs Inventory, is a list that may be useful in beginning to identify individual needs. Until and unless we become familiar with our needs, chances are that the way we communicate with others will not change. When we are familiar with our needs, communicating our feelings can facilitate the process of taking responsibility for meeting our own needs.  The Feelings Inventory provides a list of feelings which can be a wonderful tool for communicating with others and can result in changing the quality of our interactions, deepening our connections to others and ultimately allowing us to become more responsible for meeting our needs.

Taking responsibility for ourselves is one of the most important tasks of our lives. Leading our lives; being individually responsible for our thoughts, actions, and feelings, is what each of us is up to, in our own way. Each of us has our own specific evolutionary intentions. Being responsible for ourselves is an aspect of our journeys which is common to us all.

The Spring is a time of renewal, re-birth, starting anew and beginning again.

 

May we resolve to soften our thoughts about ourselves, that we may soften our thoughts about others.

May we speak to ourselves with love and compassion, that we may offer love and compassion to others.

May we open our hearts, to learn what we may not yet know about ourselves, that we may be open to others, especially when they are hurting.

 

“What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.”
― Marshall B. Rosenberg

 

 

 

 

 

 

things I’ve noticed

The last couple of weeks have certainly been filled with many tragedies and triumphs, as is more and more the case in our current milieu. When I find myself wandering into the darker places of despair, hopelessness, with sprinkles of “giving up”, I remind myself to widen the lens on the view I am taking of all of it. By taking a moment to look at the bigger picture – the one within which all of this is occurring – I reclaim my inner peace and acceptance of what is unfolding. I remember that I am responsible for doing what I can do – right here, right now. Consciously choosing to maintain perspective is one of my contributions to the shift that is underway.

Here are some things I have noticed.

  • The name of the high school where the most recent mass shooting of innocents took place is Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. The sign on the grounds of the school show its name as “Stoneman Douglas”. The letters on their baseball case, as worn by major league baseball players last week in their first Spring training game of the season, were “SD”.  Although many media outlets are properly referring to the school by its full name, it is apparent that the school system does not. Stoneman Douglas by itself removes immediate attribution to the very powerful woman for who it is named.
  • Our societal penchant for shaming and blaming is on display nearly every day, somewhere, in some situation where unexpected and tragic or difficult events take place.
  • A focus on mental illness seems to be a rallying cry by many who seem to believe the reasons for mass killings is mental illness…not the guns. Sad truth is that it is both.

And here is what I feel is at the core of the above:

  • The patriarchy has been at work in subtle and not so subtle ways for many, many years. Taking away or changing names is a dehumanizing practice which has been in place for many tragic chapters in the history of human experience. From the victims of the Nazi’s to the Native Americans and slaves, this has been done over and over again. So removing the first name of the woman for whom the school is named, and choosing to use the names which are masculine seems yet one more example of this dehumanizing or, perhaps in this case, removing the feminine (and powerful) reference, changes something.
  • Brene Brown said, following the August 12, 2017 white supremacy rally which resulted in the death of one protestor in Charlottesville, Virginia, that “We use shame when accountability isn’t working.” I believe that we use shame to distract from taking responsibility for our beliefs and resulting actions – whether in speaking, arguing or not listening to others who may see things from a different perspective than we do.
  • Mental illness seems to be the scapegoat of many a blaming individual or group for what is deemed by them to be “wrong” in any given tragedy or situation which doesn’t have the outcome they believe is the “right” one. Yet, if we take the even broader view of mental illness while considering what may be at the deepest roots of this tragic epidemic in our society, we will see a group of people who will not rest until the middle class in the US is gone, their health benefits completely inaccessible, while costs of living survival continue to skyrocket. And we wonder why we are where we are.

 

I have faith. Our world is changing and people  and even some governments are waking up in many places on our planet. I feel it.

The young people in this country, led by those who most recently were witness to the tragic loss of friends and yet one more layer of their innocence, have courageously stepped up to channel their sadness and grief into a powerful effort to be heard. They are not going away.

And…

More importantly, they will be eligible to vote in the next Presidential election in 2020.

Finally, I am reaching back once more to Brene Brown’s perspective following the events in Charlottesville last August, for inspiration and hope for our future. She reminded us of these:

  • Privilege is NOT how hard you work.
  • Perspective taking through the lenses of age, race, etc. is essential to coming together – listening and beginning to understand.
  • Power is infinite; “power to” and “power with” will move us forward, “Power over” is seeing its last stand.

She reminds us, “…the stories we own, we get to write the ending. If we don’t own our story, it owns us.” I feel this is true for us as individuals and, by definition, as a collective of humans on this planet.

I leave you with a quote from the late Stephen Covey, from his wonderful book, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People; Habit number 5:

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

What a wonderful world it would be…if we all practiced this habit.

risking self expression

As is often the case, I happened upon a couple of posts over the last couple of weeks, that were rightly timed…just what I needed.  The first was an excerpt from a chapter in David Whyte’s book, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.

“We are here essentially to risk ourselves in the world. We are a form of invitation to others and to otherness, we are meant to hazard ourselves for the right thing, for the right woman or the right man, for a son or a daughter, for the right work or for a gift given against all the odds. And in all this continual risking the most profound courage may be found in the simple willingness to allow ourselves to be happy along the way…”

Soon thereafter, I came across a chapter in a book I am reading. This excerpted section of the book is a bit longer than the quote above and yet is very important for what I wish to share with you this day.

“Self Expression – This is the greatest strength of the individual and of a thriving society as a whole. It is the aspect of the individual that is most suppressed in societies that seek to create a sense of blind obedience and mindless consumerism. The institutional influences on the will of the individual will often seek to devalue the inherent gifts, talents and passions of the individual in favor of a lifestyle that forces the individual into a more traditional role of wage earner, consumer and rule follower. Self-expression can be seen to be dangerous to that type of institutionalized structure; creativity will be undervalued, and those who operate outside of a created structure of limitations will be viewed as delusional or dysfunctional. Structures will be put into place that create divisions in the structure; those who fit in will find their sense of identity with the crowd, while those who do not will be outcast and left to find their own sense of identity.”*

Do you see where this is going?

Finally, as I was reading the WordPress Reader one morning, I came upon a post by one of my fellow bloggers, at Healing Your Grief. I hope you will take the very few moments it will take to read this brief, yet powerful post. It truly is the period at the end of the sentence and purpose of this post. The Egyptian goddess warrior Isis reached out to me in that post, and I hope you will find her for yourself as well.

We are all worthy of ourselves, our love, the expression of our hearts. Often it takes great courage to step in the arena to simply be ourselves rather than succumb to doing what we have been told, or trained to do. I recall a time in my life where I believed I was not creative. I recall attributing that trait to one of my sisters who has painted and sketched beautiful images. I started to wake up to the possibility that creativity was indeed alive in me, in a very different way, when I considered the challenges of parenting, leading an organization and finding ways to honor and support others – children, colleagues, etc.

I am grateful for the “bread crumbs” that the timing and sequence of the appearance of these posts came to mean for me. After a couple of challenging weeks, I felt I was beginning to lose my footing in the world of self-expression, which for me is writing in this space, at this time. Believing my foundation was solid, I discovered that the foundation is ever shifting and as long as I follow my heart, write what I feel and experience, I am risking myself in the world, in the best way for me.

I’m happy to be here and am grateful for all who read, and comment on anything I offer here.

Namaste.

 

 

 

 

 

*Mike Dooley with Tracy Farquhar, From Deep Space with Love: A Conversation about Consciousness, The Universe and Building a Better World (United States; Hay House, 2017); p.35

 

 

let it be

As I often do in the last month of the calendar year, I review posts in my journal from the previous months. I’ve done this for several years and found it to be a wonderful way to see my growth, progression and evolution. Changing my mind and opening my heart more and more to life – both its challenges and rewards – makes all of the difference in the way I greet and move into and through each day. Each day is different and for that I am grateful.

I came upon an entry in my journal from this month, last year (2016). The election was behind us and the emotions which were pouring from people on both sides of the outcome were vivid.  As is my practice, I looked at what I had written and considered my observations of that day and what I see today. I reflected on where I was then and where I am today as well. The words reflect both my observations, and upon reflection, I believe my feelings as well.

~  ~  ~

12/8/16
There are many terrified children all around. You will know them by the adult suits they are wearing. Their behavior is a give-away, too.
Anger and condescension mask a deep fear within. They are over-compensating to cover their beliefs that they are unprepared, unworthy and simply aren’t good enough or don’t have all they believe they need to be where they are. In addition, they are defensive and very reactive. Everything is a crisis which must be tended to and fixed right now!
They come across as confident and controlling when in fact they are not confident, and everything –  in their mind  –  is completely out of control.
What do these people need?
A steady, easy open-hearted soul who sees them for who they really are in this moment – another soul currently living a separated life. They need a person who can compassionately hold the space while listening to and allowing them to be who they truly are. This melting process – the shedding of armor – will take time. The reward is more joy – awakening with a sense of calm, peace, acceptance of life – as it is.
No need to fix, control or manipulate any of it. Just let it be.

~  ~  ~

We have one year of great change nearly behind us. I’ve had many opportunities to remember the importance of caring for myself. It is so easy to become distracted by the many events unfolding in our world today. What I know for sure is this: joining the negative voices – however passionate – does nothing to contribute to the healing of our planet and its inhabitants. Focusing on the beauty that we get to enjoy; taking good care of our bodies, minds and spirits; and engaging in more listening and less talking can make a positive difference in so many places – even in places that we have no idea we are impacting.

As one of the young people in my life says, “All acts impact.” I believe she is absolutely right about this.

So, before we speak; before we take an action; before we make a choice of any kind, perhaps taking a moment to pause and consider the energy that is informing and therefore infusing the act will give us an opportunity to make the best choice; to say the best, most positive words and bring more love, peace and joy into our world.

Let’s breathe before we respond, rather than reacting to so many things.

Let us practice be-ing and allowing others to simply be.

Let us free the scared child within. Let us hold him or her in our arms and provide a safe place for them to be the child they are. By seeing our scared inner children we will see the same in others. Compassion for self, compassion for others.

Love.

Peace.

Acceptance.

Let it be.

 

 The hummingbird is a symbol for the enjoyment of life and the lightness of being.